2026 calendars

We’re starting yet another new year and I know at least some of you haven’t gotten around to the most important annual task: picking out a calendar.

It’s hard because there are so many to choose from. Fortunately, I’m here to help. Here are my top picks that you can proudly display in your home or office to improve your life and impress your clients:

2026 Litigation Quote Calendar. “This calendar is a valuable addition to your practice of law, providing valuable insights and inspiration to improve your case outcomes.”

Not only will you know what day it is, but you’ll be able to improve your practice one tiny bit a day. What could be more inspiring?

Wildebeest. What better way to keep up with the gnus?

Crime Scene Chronicles 2026 Calendar. The perfect calendar for those of you with a criminal practice. Remember each day what you’re fighting for.

2026 Wall Calendar — Witchy Dogs in Pointed Hats and Dark Cloaks. Yes, you’re looking at a witch bitch. Show your clients that you’ll use any means necessary to win.

2025 and 2026 Supreme Court Pocket Planner and Calendar. “Elevate your organization and display your admiration for the highest court with 2025 Pocket Planner.”

Or, alternatively, show your disgust by writing how you really feel daily on each page.

Attorney's Daily Diary 2026. This boring-looking thing is provided by the Illinois State Bar because “writing important information on paper boosts the brain’s memory and processing powers.”

It’s good for you!

It also “provides ample space for daily and monthly notes, appointments, billable hours and contact information.”

Perfect for the practice with almost no clients and for lawyers who can’t figure out those darn computer things.

Abandoned 2026 Calendar. “Each month unveils a stunning photograph of abandoned sites …"

Always be reminded that things could be worse.

There is Artificial Intelligence 20XX. This one is strictly for those of you who enjoy being freaked out.

2026 Wall Calendar — Amazing Paintings of Delicious Burgers and Fries Vintage. Wondering what to have for lunch? Here’s a daily reminder.

Enjoy your heart attack.

Trump's Bikini Babes Wall Calendar. I’m not sure what to say about this. The Etsy page claims it’s “ideal for fans of humor and satire.”

It’s also ideal for fans of vomit. I’m picturing this hanging in the Oval Office right next to the burgers and fries calendar.

Fascinating Fungi 2026 Wall Calendar. And you thought fungi weren’t fascinating …