I can’t believe it’s not Thanos

It’s time once again to test your knowledge of current events.

The following quotes were reportedly spoken or written (or ghostwritten) by one of four contemporary icons or a historical figure. They are: Donald Trump, Peter Thiel, Kendrick Lamar, Marvel supervillain Thanos or Mahatma Gandhi. Three are attributed to each one. Can you match the quotes with their authors (or ghost authors)?

1. “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

2. “A diploma is a dunce hat in disguise.”

3. “The hardest choices require the strongest wills.”

4. ’The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

5. “I think my vice would be outdoing myself.”

6. “You have to think anyway, so why not think big?”

7. “Owning a golf course gives you great power.”

8. “I have no patience for injustice, no tolerance for government incompetence, no sympathy for leaders who fail their citizens.”

9. “We live in a world in which courage is in less supply than genius.”

10. “It’s a great, great experience to finally get the reception that you know you rightfully deserve.”

11. “I know what it’s like to lose. To feel so desperately that you’re right, yet to fail nonetheless.”

12. “Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.”

13. “I was always that person who was hard on myself and challenged myself no matter what I was doing, whether it was passing third grade or playing basketball.”

14. “Reality can be whatever I want.”

15. “The core problem in our society is political correctness.”

The answers are below.

PRIZE-WINNING DIPLOMACY

While we’re on the topic of public pronouncements, I can’t ignore the recent unexpected one from Donald Trump, reportedly made in a text to the leader of Norway:

“Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, I no long feel an obligation to think purely of Peace …”

Do you realize what this means? Finally there’s hope for us all!

Giving Trump large sums of money or being a toady or family member aren’t the only ways to get what you want from the president. You can also give him a prize!

Give him an Environmentalist of the Year trophy to get him to combat climate change. (The trophy, naturally, would be a bust of Al Gore with LOSER in capital letters under it.)

Give him an EGOT to get support for the arts.

Give him Time Magazine Man of the Year and People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive so he’ll be nice to reporters.

Give him the ACLU Bill of Rights Award so we’ll have rights.

Give him a Cesar Chavez Legacy Award so he’ll appreciate laborers and immigrants.

Now get out there and buy trophies.

Our national nightmare could be over quickly.

THE ANSWERS

Mahatma Ghandi: 1, 4, 12

Donald Trump: 6, 7, 8

Peter Thiel: 2, 9, 15

Thanos: 3, 11, 14

Kendrick Lamar: 5, 10, 13

If you didn’t do well on this quiz, you may wish to ponder whether anyone means what they say these days.