Dialectical Republicanism

Dialectical Republicanism is another face of Karl Marx’s dialectical materialism.

Key principles of both include the unity of opposites, the negation of opposites, and the negation of the negation. (Don’t think too hard about that; it’ll get you right back where you started.)

(If you do think about it, try to think in German; put it all into one long unintelligible, self-negating sentence, and don’t forget to tack on the verb.)

One principle of dialectical materialism is that reality is material. The principle of today’s Republican materialism, however, is that reality is imaginary.

Therefore, when a Republican states an imaginary proposition, such as: Refugees from shithole countries are eating our cats and dogs, a Republican lower down in an imaginary pecking order must counter with an even more imaginary proposition, such as: People with brown or black skins want to undermine and destroy our country, and the way they plan to do it is by voting, aided and abetted by the treasonous Democrat Party.

Here we see why communism never really caught on, until Republicans adopted it: It is difficult to counter, or disprove, a statement that has no basis in reality.

Another problem with communist dialectics is that material reality contains inherent contradictions, which must be overcome to reach a higher, or more confusing, level of reality. This accounts for the long, confusing sentences by which dialectical materialism fails to explain anything.

Republican dialectics, however, contain no internal contradictions, because, as it has no basis in reality but is entirely imaginary, it is impossible for a Republican to attain a higher level of thought, because thought has nothing to do with it.

Now let us consider some key differences in vocabulary between the two dialectics.

For a materialist, the proletariat is a class of working people who own no means of production and little or no capital, and so must sell their labor. This creates a class conflict with capitalists.

For a Republican, the proletariat are unimportant as individuals, because they have little or no power or money for campaign contributions, so they can be ignored for 700 days out of 730 — until national elections roll around — at which time proletarians must be praised with slogans: whatever imaginary, immaterial thing(s) the Republican Party dreamed up this time.

But above all, in Republican dialectics, proletarians must be prevented from joining a union. This might eventually give them access to capital, and means of production, which would destroy the entire system on which Republican dialectics is based.

As Republican dialectics is based upon nonmaterial, imaginary “reality,” the condition of the proletariat is immaterial to them, because, as noted, Republican dialectics have no basis in reality, which is solely the responsibility of the proletariat.

Let us conclude by providing a material example of the unity of opposites inherent in these dialectics, although, as noted, there can be no opposite to immaterial fantasies, unless it be materialism itself, which, as also noted, is not important to Republicans, except around Election Day.

Republican fascism has shown us that its preferred method of governing is graft and corruption on an immense scale, directed by a fat blowhard, and that murders done in public on film shall have no repercussions for the murderers.

(Joe Stalin sits up in his grave. Offering a high five to ... who? Anyone?)

Now consider today’s communism, Xi Jinping’s China. In the past year, Xi has purged 11 of his 12 most powerful generals for unspecified “corruption.”

And, as both dialectics predict, this proves that Republican fascists are not the only corrupt people. Communists like nice things too.

(History shows that both fascism and communism owe a great debt to Buddhism: They all seek the extinction of the individual.)