Let’s have some fun

So, um … . Let’s see …

This is hard.

OK, I’m looking at my dogs and cats. They’re not being eaten! That’s good news.

I’m looking out my window and there isn’t a horde of insane murderous foreigners breaking down doors. Even the guy across the street with the weird flags and the Steve Garvey sign on his lawn seems to be peacefully going to work.

Maybe he’s just an old-time baseball fan?

Hmm. Climate change is still bad, there are horrible wars overseas, Nazi wannabes are holding rallies … no, wait, that shouldn’t be comforting. I’ve got to be cheerful … .

My blood doesn’t feel poisoned and no one at the school where my wife works has been surprised by suddenly turning trans. RuPaul is still on TV.

So let’s play a game. The following events were reported by news outlets around the country within the last week. After each question, pick the true story deemed worthy of reporting by the true or fake media. The answers and links to the stories are below (don’t peek).

Answers:

1. Yahtzee!
2. It’s the elephant in a room.
3. The passwords.
4. Prison beds.
5. The metal man.
6. It was the doggie.
7. Drunk tractor driving.
8. Pizza cures many ills.
9. Never bed-jump before an election.
10. It was the birds.